Crystal: stick_and_drum

Merry Christmas

2007-12-26T05:35:03Z

Okay, I am thirty-three minutes late.
And, I am Hindu.

But that won't stop me from saying:
Merry Christmas!
Let there be Peace and Love on planet Earth.

the power of true friendship is extraordinary

2007-12-26T05:27:50Z

I keep having this dream.
I'm trapped in a white room
with a glass roof,
concrete walls.

I am with the most despicable human being that I have ever met in my entire life
and she does not even know it.
Me and her- we're trapped, together.

I don't know how or why I am there,
but I want to get out.
I want to get out so bad-
my stomach, my eyes, my lungs, my gums,
my knuckles, my hair, my nails are acid.
She's calm
and relaxed.
She's fingering the fine split ends of her hair,
she loves fingering the world around her
like a slut.

So, I'm sitting in a corner, trying
to keep my own saliva from mixing
with the acid pooling in my stomach-

And she smiles at me.
she has a beautiful smile.

Now what I do next, I am not at all proud of
but at the time, it only seems logical.

Without the world to judge,
women lose grace.

I stand up, corner her, squat down (for she is sitting), and smile back.

Only,
my smile is not beautiful.
my smile is bloody- dry blood.

How long have I been here? I wonder

Chin up, I tenderly stroke her chin up
so she can see my face when I say
Fuck you.

I tell her I want to get out,
I tell her I miss the people I love,
I miss their voices.
I miss the rain.
I miss pepto-bismol.

And she looks back at me
and says
you love me now. and I love you.
and we will be the best of friends,
just to make it through.

she wants to know my secrets now,
she's curious about the life I claim to have missed so bad.

so I tell her,
I tell her-
she's a stupid bitch if she cannot see that the life I miss so bad
is inside of me- and I am dying. I am dying.
I tell her everything I will ever need is inside of me,
and I am dying, and you are blind.

She must have been blind.

How easily she was willing to surrender herself for me,
to mold me into a person she could love without feeling me,
without feeling herself.
She wanted to survive, even with me dying.

The power of true friendship is extraordinary,
but the ignorance of her friendship was disgusting.
so, I spew. on her. who could blame me?

Who could blame me for tearing her heart apart to kill the robot growing inside?
So, that's exactly what I did.
She was temporarily dead.
and I was talking to her robot.

It was a nice fellow, full of advice on sex and money.
But it had one terrible flaw,
it could not discern between humans and..well, everything else.
Therefore, it treated everything as a thing;

She loved me as she loved the color of her boyfriend's eyes
as she loved the taste of Scottish malt whiskey on a Sunday afternoon
as she loved the view of the ocean from her beach house
as she loved fingering herself.

The robot made me laugh,
it was naked without her flesh covering it.

Without her, the robot was small and fucking hysterical.
I will never allow a robot to love me.

so she died.
but it's okay,
because I was to die shortly after.
Hopefully after I escaped,
after I made a family,
a big beautiful family.

So, this is a description of a dream I keep having.

Leonardo da Vinci's Vitruvian Man

2007-11-03T23:40:12Z

because I am engineered from a blueprint.
because I am born irreplaceable.
because I am.

I can see only through the fovea, only inspiration, only love.
Only strength,
to compensate for the scared shitless life you left behind.
We are in power this time,
we are selfless,
we are brilliant.

from the movie: "Body Shots"

2007-11-03T23:32:05Z

"I' ll go for a ride on your jelly roll/
But I won't give you nothin' from my soul" -Anonymous

Of Machiavellian Blood

2007-10-29T02:29:50Z

Learn to mimic
a parasitic
creature,
from the inside-out.

For justice is no longer reason in action,
but treason in reaction
to the injustice embedded within every constitution's doubt.

From the beginning of time and God itself,
you have doubted my power
for one reason alone-
I have doubted myself.

But we are all of Machiavellian blood,
filthy, ruthless, resistant in nature
to be put on any one's shelf.

Showcase me, my people, my heart,
and I will show you a case of tyranny,
Showcase you, your kingdom, your mouth,
And you will show off the grace you have given me.

I do not accept your grace.
I do not accept your authority.
I am only here to face
what is but ahead of me.

Yes, social doubt works to my benefit
for Hobbes claimed only the fittest survive,
and your empowerment is what I have learned to mimic
(in this dynamic)
social revolution that has kept me alive.

Break the eagle's wings, if you must,
and eat the insides- it is your right;
for I am but a prey for you to hunt,
for I am but a prey learning to fight.

-ck

Why My Heart is Weak

2007-10-29T02:19:33Z

Pumping secrets into my system
that invade my mind,
Blocking freedom for my lungs
to breath in what I left behind,

Grasping onto my throat
and refusing to let go,
Tripping on your rhythm now,
can't make this beat, this blood, flow.

I'll stop fighting,
stop writing,
and release.

Because this muscle is tearing,
with your eyes staring,
straight back at me.
-ck

Burns from the Deptford Trilogy

2007-07-21T02:22:35Z

"The sacred lowe of well-placed love,
Luxuriously indulge it;
But never tempt th' illicit rove
Tho' naething should divulge it;
I waive the quantum of the sin
The hazard of concealing;
But, och! it hardens a' within,
And petrifies the feeling."

'What we had of sex was limited;
what we had of love seems,
in my recollection,
to have been illimitable.'

stick_and_drum @ 2007-07-20T22:02:00

2007-07-21T02:11:40Z

Every note you play on your lovely guitar
is a beat closer,
stronger,
louder,
to my heart.

Every chord you sing,
face you touch,
Every prayer you believe,
hand you clutch-

Every memory you shoot
up your vein,
Every place you see,
pulse you gain-

Every Earth you dig into,
dream you give,
Every tear you swallow,
dream you live-

Every wave that rocks deep inside your body,
sound you make,
Every stage you stand on,
and bow you take-

This
Now
These are the things
I love you for

And This
Now
These are the reasons
I feel that much more-

Remember to keep singing,
when your lungs can only whisper a soft Hallelujah-

my baby, keep dreaming,
as I whisper to you a soft,
strong Hallelujah.
-ck

success story

2007-04-29T03:38:46Z

and i held that goddamned diploma in my hands
like it was made of gold,
imprinted on paper.
paper that stood there
in that frame
when the building collapsed
and the children cried
and i fled
and the children cried
i fled
to find myself
once again
selfish
once again
lost
once again
failing
and falling
into the arms of solid gold,
rusted metal,
i had called my own.

-ck

stick_and_drum @ 2006-12-02T21:01:00

2006-12-03T02:01:47Z

Poetry cannot afford responsibility,

But I feel responsible for you:

My friend,
My friend,
My friend.

Don't Break Your Smile

2006-12-03T01:47:39Z

What is treason
but reason
at a reckless point in time?

What is sorrow
when tomorrow
you will be committing the same crime?

How can I live
and forgive
your moral decadence?

When you don't know
how to show
love beyond innocence?

Oh, but I'll smile at you when you lie
and I will lie to you when I smile,

Darling, I won't even touch you when you cry
because you know I make you wild.

I can see it in your eyes,
creating, destructing, recreating yourself for me,

And you can see it in my highs,
dreaming of our irony.

But do you mind if I confirm
what my heart perceives to be true?

Do I even want to learn
or will I cheat you?

I cannot experiment with temperament what governs our delicate needs,
but I can pretend to amend my four childish deceits.

One: I'm shy.
Two: I lie.

Three: I crime.
Four: I rhyme.

And yet,

What if I became a stranger to you
and months turned into years for a while?

Would you recognize what we've gone through?
Would you still want to smile?

Let's reverse this curse and rehearse my verse in your routine,
or maybe a smile will be worthwhile in this pile of bullshit we've seen-

no, this is not something new,
but it is absolutely beautiful in every single way-I'm sorry.
Just, justify just.. just

Don't look at me like that,
and I won't look back,

but the moment you do
I will always fall back in love with you.
-ck

stick_and_drum @ 2006-11-22T00:10:00

2006-11-22T05:10:08Z

i could grow my hair long
and cut my thoughts short

maybe this is where i belong
maybe i'll make this poem short.

i could make my skin glow
and deny your lively growth

maybe we all blow
lies under oath.

But we all looked so happy
without a mirror.

And it felt so sad
when I got nearer,

So I could hold you like my darling
and maybe you will put me on a pedestal,

but tomorrow you will be snarling-
passion makes me think in a circle.

stop, come, go
to sleep

dream, run, love
me deep.

deeper,
so I don't have to speak.

stick_and_drum @ 2006-09-09T19:15:00

2006-09-09T23:20:36Z

Here's to the political psycho
who was once too afraid to open his mouth.

Here's to that greedy bastard
and the lies he would tell down south.

He would stir up the crowd with talks of controversy
and we would stir it back down with whips and chains,
He would talk real loud-these words of blasphemy,
and we would shut him up with guns and-

and, stains.
Dammit, he left stains
of blood.

And so we thought:
What was there ever to gain?
Could we have forever hidden others' pain?

All this time, we were the ones to blame:
yes, we were insane.

There's a face to that damn politician,
a face I now recognize very well

because his platform
was a new form,
of democracy: equality.

You changed life Mr. Politik,
and I am sorry your passion has bid you farewell,

I need you now and again, Mr. Politik,
because our logic has created hell.
-ck

(painting by aaron douglas)

Time : You, Me, and the World

2006-09-09T22:57:28Z

~~Time~~
Spaces

Time, there's always time.
On your mind.

Time, there's never time.
am i on your mind-

im never on your mind
im always on your- do you mind?

if we replace time
we can replace time
with change.

i want to see a change in life.

and ill be damn fine
ill be damn well fine

with all this time.

-ck

the doctor

2006-04-06T02:34:43Z

Watch the water drown his hands, his steady hands,
diligent, hardworking, concealing the uncertainties of his mind.
Look how the water soothes; it cleans, it submerges,
blood lost in time.

Watch him take control, he seeks control,
as he approaches her with a confident smile.
Oh how he touches her life with elastic gloves, plastic hands,
in search for a trial

between life and death and happiness and insanity
between her greatest fears and his reality,
between blood lost and cells remained,
between weight gone and skin stained.

Do her justice, dammit, release her from this disease,
or look into her eyes, and find:

inspiration again.

fear again.

contact again.

life again.

in a world where we function for a stranger's needs.
-ck

Reactionary Her

2005-12-24T00:41:13Z

Reactionary Her.

don't think it's a miracle
just to be lyrical
and pry
into my emotion
with your gothic pride.

Or I'll be critical-
"You're not fucking physical*"-
don't lie
with the notion
that you're fine.

don't become an interpretation
of life's humiliation
and lead
off the high
of their weed.

Or you'll make an exaggeration
to mock my illustration
of love, and need, and
"Stop learning to cry
for what they feed.*"

you use and you use and you use and you use,
and you bruise and you bruise and you lose and you;
lost me.
Yeah you lost me.

Yeah, Feel the lump in your throat stagger your breath,
Your Wicked, Deceptive, immature conscience is nonexistent now;
Yeah Feel your mind become your stomach___and what's left,-
Only your eyes to witness how.

How, How you relate
to this blank space

and me.

I was only kidding; it was a joke,
Until I saw your reality.

[I am genuine she is weak]
[if she reacts when I speak].
-ck

You're Growing In My Body

2005-12-02T02:38:52Z

You're growing in my body
Clawing my heart,
which my mother gave to me.

You're tearing my skin
apart,
and my insides are surrounding he.

You're draining my eyes
they're fried,
I can only see what you see.

You're transferring my blood
to one side,
filling my lungs with your ecstasy.

You're tying my hair
between your fingertips,
I cannot set myself free.

You're melting my brain,
those lips,
I now believe what you believe.
-CK

stick_and_drum @ 2005-11-03T19:19:00

2005-11-04T01:13:28Z

Gone to the dark side of the moon
where the sun only shines for us
to the point where we are blinded,
side-winded,
by the space consuming our lust.

No the earth cant see, what we see
or hear us
free
but i can
scream
save us, save me.

the waves in this galaxy won't carry our sound
or pictures of our streaming happiness
but the stars have whitnessed a miracle in what they've found
and they are gleaming in happiness

this moment of child's play
took place on a stack of cheese
where we were soon to find
that two is earth's most fanciful disease

Came back on a Tueday
Our spaceship came melting down
I felt the weight of familiarity
and the hate of barbarity
earth seemed defined by borders

The radii couldn't target our love
as it fell into the hands of another pair, demolished
The people were just proud of
another mission accomplished.

unrelated

2005-10-19T04:00:14Z

he is not.
imagine.

in your pornographic mind.
the significance of time.
and the chance
of romance

a trance.

get in . get in.
those pants
for youve already said.

yes

                  damn your imagination.
                  damn your desire
                  of ashes from fire.
                  damn your blunt face that couldnt erase the memories
                  and persuade me

to be

farther.

like a game of intentions
that lost its intent
you cant rent
me
so dont think i spent.

the time thinking about you.
although i did
and damn
you have too.
youre my best friend
but youll never hear it again
because opposite
could fit
but will never belong.

-ck